Thank GOD!!!!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/15/AR2009071503672.html?g=0

Lame? Perhaps... Stupid? Probably... Can you drink milk while reading them? I think not.

Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.

Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.

Chuck Norris hasn't paid income taxes in years. Every year, he just sends a blank 1040 form with a picture of himself crouched and ready to attack.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

and finally,

Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were competing to sit in the seat next to God. Arnold was first. He said that he deserved to sit in that seat because of all his major accomplishments. Then, it was Sylvester's turn. He said he deserved to sit in the seat because he taught kids to believe in themselves and never give up... Finally, it was Chuck Norris' turn. He glanced into the eyes of God and said, "I think you are in my seat!"

Can You Guess the Songs that These Pictures Go To?

This is an idea I saw on a library website and tried myself a few weeks ago. Basically, the point is to graphically portray a song. Some of them are obviously better than others, my favorite being the one just to the left (above). Can you guess the song which goes to each of the three pictures? They're all reasonably popular, and have played on the radio in the last few months...

The Guerrilla of the Imagination

I recently came across a quote from Nadine Gordimer on my other blog (theblithebbc). It was rather deep and said something along the lines of writing not being a pure product of the writer's creativity, so much as his/her drive for popularity and readership. I was intrigued, and, in the spirit of the 21st century, Wiki-searched her. Here are a few facts I cyber-unearthed about this fascinating woman:

She was the first South African, and the seventh woman , to be awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature.
She has written thirteen novels, over two hundred short stories, a few screenplays, and several volumes of essays.

In a time when her contemporaries were flocking to leave South Africa, this white woman remained to be a voice for the stifled Black writers.

Although she wrote as if censorship did not exist, quite a bit of her work was banned in her native country.

I also found a few fascinating quotes:

"A desert is a place without expectation."
"Power is something of which I am convinced there is no innocence this
side of the womb."
"Responsibility is what awaits outside the Eden of Creativity."
"The truth isn't always beauty, but the hunger for it is."
"Writing is making sense of life. You work your whole life and perhaps
you've made sense of one small area."

The Constant State of Change...

...by which I mean the constant state of doing nothing on my blog is about to change from the constant state of constant ramblings on inane pop culture subjects to the constant state of constant ramblings on inane subjects connected only by their importance and bearings on my personal life.
Got that?
Basically, I want to change things up. My life is a lot more dimensional now, so I'd like my blog to be the same. Yes, I'll still treat you (and by you I mean me, my only constant reader, LOL) to annoying rants, but I'd like to think that there will be some deeper meaning in there somewhere. And I'll talk vaguely about my life, and the various shades of dangerously exciting/deathly boring it ranges across. (Oh dear, I do believe I just ended that sentence with a preposition...see how exciting I am?!)
'Cause I'm a lot more mature, a little more interesting, and (here's the main thing) slightly lonely.
See ya' round

Should Auld Argot Be Forgotten? (look it up)

And with the New Year comes the newest list of banned words from that renowned Lake Superior State University...

(with commentary added for your viewing pleasure)

"green" [I guess I live in the Ever-Chartreuse State now?]

"carbon footprint"

"maverick"

"first dude" [it's easier just to say Adam anyway...]

"wall street/main street" [someone is going to need to do some major map corrections]

"____-monkey"

"<3"

"icon/iconic"

"game changer"

"staycation"

"desperate search" [no word on my request for a ban of "Desperate Housewives"]

"not so much"

"winner of five nominations" [blatant discrimination against Alicia Keys!!]

"it's that time of year again"

I have to say that I've never even heard most of these phrases before, and find it extraordinarily pompous to have L.S. "banning" them. If any random body can arbitrarily edit the English language, what could go next from overuse? The word "the"? How about that omnipresent "and"? Imagine how easy it’ll be to write those term papers now, campers! I guess I can't blame L.S.U. for a very well organized publicity campaign masquerading as a rewriting of the English language; and what else can it be but a P.R. stunt? For what other reason would you ban words used mainly in the Presidential election?! Yes, I know you live almost in Canada, but surely you've heard of the every-four-years clause in that Constitution thingummy... Anyway, although it's a desperate search to find these phrases in common use, a green maverick like myself is not so much annoyed as encouraged to give these poor, unwanted phrases a staycation in my iconic blog.

Season's Greetings

Ok, maybe not Season's Greetings...that's teetering over the edge of the lame scale. But I guess I can't say "Merry Christmas" in the spirit of peace on earth and goodwill to the thin-skinned. Hmmmm - what about "Happy Holidays" (it's got alliteration going for it, anyway)? And it avoids conflict - which, as you know, is what I live for.

All right, so I'll get to the point of this extended internal/external monolgue. I cannot comprehend why anyone would have a problem with being wished a Merry Christmas (by me). I'm not forcing whatever mixed-up beliefs I have on you - I'm not asking you to get down on your knees and cry "Praise de Lord!" I'm not even mentioning religion...All I am doing is expressing a (no doubt superficial) wish that you will have a 25th of December that is full of smiles and puppydogs and snickerdoodles. (Ya, you're right, I'm such a jerk...)

Maybe I'll just hybridize and say "Happy Christmas" like the Brits.